Successful people Discern and Probe into their Values

You can get a pretty clear idea of your values by observing the way you spend your two most valuable cur rencies—time and money. - RICHARD LEIDER, The Power of Purpose

Ask yourself, “What is important to me?” Values are the source of meaning and the spark for passion. Use your life experiences to clarify your values. By looking back at critical incidents in life over time, values become apparent. If you are unsure of your values, spend some time to create a list of the things that are important to you.

Analyze your list to fully explore what those words mean to you and why. Let’s look into integrity, which my study shows is a core element of the whole self and of successful people.

What Is Integrity?

Dictionaries define integrity as the state of being whole, of having a steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code. Synonyms include truthfulness, honor, authenticity, and uprightness. According to Erik Erikson,7 human development expert, integrity is acceptance of responsibility for one’s own life cycle.

How do you know what integrity means to you? The foundation is laid early on from family, school, and church. Life experience is the true teacher of what any value means.

A work colleague insisted that we call her “Doctor so and so.” When the company attempted to verify her degree and couldn’t, she was terminated. A friend of mine noticed that a restaurant bill was wrong. He told the waiter that a charge needed to be added to the bill. The owner later said, “Thank you for mentioning it. Most people would not.” My friend’s integrity impressed me.

Integrity of Effort Is Important

Success in the pursuit of purpose is typically defined as accomplishing the goal. But some people believe a pursuit that does not reach the target can still be successful if you maintain integrity of effort and do the best you can. Jim Collins, best-selling autho, distinguishes between failure and “fallure” when rock climbing or in life. He defines fallure as falling before reaching the climbing goal while still maintaining integrity of effort. Integrity is trying with 100 percent commitment— no wavering whatsoever. He considers both fallure and reaching the goal as success.

This definition helped me reinterpret some of my own past failures as fallures. It is integrity of the pursuit, and not only the attainment of the goal, that brings success as well as satisfaction and meaning to life.

Do You Have Standards for Your Life?

Typically, we define standards for ourselves, and test them against the standards of others. For Jim Collins, “Living to integrity means feeling comfortable having everything you do, think, and say—your decisions and the way you thought about the decisions you make—shared with everybody in the world.”

Most organizations and governments have policies that set clear standards to help employees do the right thing. There is also an international standard. The Rotary 4-Way Test,8 a widely quoted statement of business ethics developed by the worldwide organization of business and professional leaders, asks:

1. Is it the truth?

2. Is it fair to all concerned?

3. Will it build goodwill and better friendships?

4. Will it be beneficial to all concerned?

In high schools across the nation, this 4-Way Test is being introduced in an interactive workshop to help students clarify and strengthen integrity.

How Do You Strengthen Integrity?

Not meeting the standards can have external consequences with a big price tag. On the other hand, you may be the only one who knows whether you are meeting your standards. In not living up to them, you deny a part of yourself. You must determine how to retrieve your wholeness.

Just as exercises build muscles, challenges to values make them stronger. Karen Bernardi, an award-winning realtor asks, “When you are squeezed, what comes out?” When the self is squeezed, true spirit usually comes out. Life’s challenges help us determine what we stand for. Most people do not perceive adversity as a gift and want to move beyond hard times as soon as possible. But, it is the diff icult times that clarify and strengthen us.

What Helps You Live True to Your Integrity Standard?

It helps to be surrounded by people who live by your standard and who give you genuine feedback. My women’s group did an exercise in which we prioritized our own life values. Then, to compare others’ perceptions with our stated intentions, we told each other what values we saw in each other. What I learned was shocking. I ranked authenticity as my highest value, with connections to others next in line. Based on my behavior, the others perceived that I most value work and recognition. Actions speak louder than words. This wake-up call has helped me live more consistently with what I truly value.

How Do You Measure Someone Else’s Integrity?

Words are not enough—you must see a person in action. Our Radish team established a set of “values to live by.” The highest on the list was integrity. Interested in attracting employees who shared these values, we asked candidates, “What are the values you live by?” We hired a key staff member who said he valued integrity. Later I challenged him to stop behavior in the workplace that, in my opinion, lacked integrity. He refused, because, in his opinion, it did not lack integrity. I learned that people have different def initions of integrity and determining integrity through interviews has its limitations.

Knowing yourself starts with discernment and deep probing of your values.